It seems like this last year was fabulous for some people and terrible for others. I haven’t seen many descriptions in between. While I applaud those that had a great year and found positives out of what could’ve been negatives, I know that is not realistic for everyone. If imposter syndrome and comparison weren’t an issue before, it’s likely they have been this past year. After everything you went through this past year, are you finding it hard to be happy for those around you? Honestly, I’ve been there. And I end up back there frequently. So, I wanted to share some ways to shift your mindset that can help you be happy for others!
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I wish I could give you a step-by-step list and you could just magically be happy for others. Wouldn’t that be nice? But, as with most things in life, it’s not that easy. That’s why it’s a wellness journey – it’s a long path. Although it may take a while, with the right mindset, you can get there!
How to Be Happy for Others
Think about how you’d feel in that moment and how you’d want others to react. If someone you care about is sharing good news, you don’t want them to feel like you don’t care or aren’t happy for them and possibly hurt that relationship. If you aren’t feeling celebratory, put yourself in their shoes and think about how you would want them to react to you. I’m not saying that you should be fake. Even just putting a smile on your face when you’re not in the mood will help them to perceive your reaction as a positive one. Maybe you’re on the phone and they can’t see your face. Use your customer service voice, haha.
Recognize they are on a different journey than you are. And that is okay! Remember that them reaching their dream does not keep you from reaching yours. You just have different ways of getting there.
Remember that everyone struggles. Right now, they are shining but they have their fair share of struggles, too. I know there are people that seem to have it all and you just want to roll your eyes when they talk about it. But, they too have struggles. They’re different from your struggles and they probably handle them differently, but they still have them.
Work through your own feelings. This may be an unpopular opinion, but I wholeheartedly believe that you can and should give yourself time to feel grief, sadness, anger, or whatever emotion, and work through it. I was given this advice and in my personal experience, it’s best to get through those feelings in order to move to happier feelings.
Compliment others. Have you ever noticed how someone lights up when you say you like their sweater? Join them in that glow. Let yourself feel good because you made someone else feel good!
Use their success as motivation. Rather than feel bitter or mad at the world because it’s never you that good things happen to, use their success as fuel to your fire! If they can do it, so can you!
Talk to yourself in a positive way. Please do not beat yourself up because you feel you aren’t where you want to be. Or even because you don’t feel happy for others. Give yourself a pep talk as needed, instead.
Whether it’s a friend telling you good news in person, or someone online sharing their accomplishment, it can be tough to feel happy for them. Especially, when you are struggling with things in your own life. I hope these tips are helpful!
It’s a new year, but I know it will be a while before things start to feel normal, so I’ll continue to work on my mental health and wellness and bring you along on the journey.
Thank you for reading!