What They Don’t Say About Trauma

As you probably know, I’ve been sharing more and more about my personal journey with healing from trauma. It’s a topic that is not talked about in general – especially online. As scary as it is, I’m proud to make my corner of the internet a place where it is talked about. But, I know it’s not enough to just talk about myself. While I hope my story helps you see you’re not alone – I think when we can collectively talk about mental health and trauma we can collectively heal, too.  I’d love for you to join my free community over on Facebook – get free education and encouragement from other like-minded women. Click here to join!

So, here are the things I  wish people understood (and a reminder for you!) about dealing with trauma – so we don’t feel so alone as we heal.

The Thing About Trauma is…

It’s always on your mind. Have you had someone tell you to just stop thinking about it? *eye roll* It’s not easy to just stop thinking about it. I do recommend working with a licensed professional to learn behaviors and tricks so you don’t drive yourself crazy –  but be sure to give yourself grace while you navigate life as you deal and heal.

It makes regular life hard – jumping at every little noise, not sleeping at night, etc. There are so many things that will feel different and you may feel off.

Trauma affects relationships and the way you view people you meet. It can be so hard to trust new people and their intentions. You may put up a wall to protect yourself. You may need to break away from friendships or set boundaries with family members who don’t seem to understand and therefore make it hard on you. While this sounds sad, don’t feel bad about it, friend. You have to do what is best for you and your mental health.

There is no timeline for healing. I had a friend tell me exactly how many weeks I had left to grieve and be sad after a breakup. The number was based on how long we had been together. I guess the calculation didn’t include the trauma and stalking that would follow, huh? But seriously, this is absolutely ridiculous. There is no timeline. Yeah, it’s not good for you to mope around and stay in that sadness. But, we both know that’s not what you’re doing. You’re still living life, going to work, and doing your best. So, take the time you need. 

It changes how you feel about yourself. You are not the things that happened to you. Whether they were a result of your choices or someone else’s actions, they do not define you. Their actions are not a reflection of you. It wasn’t your fault then and it’s not your fault now. You are not your illness or struggle. You’ve always done the best you could and your best is enough. Read that again. 

When you finally get to heal from trauma, it’s like going through the event all over again. The memories, the pain, and of course the emotions never really go away. People don’t seem to realize how complicated healing really is. This is exactly why I’ve become so passionate about starting this dialogue on the internet. People need to better empathize with the process and we need to know we are not alone and we are not wrong for the way we choose to deal and heal. (I liked that phrase so I had to use it again haha)

Trauma is hard. Nothing I say will change that. But, I do know there will be purpose from your pain. I pray that it comes sooner rather than later and that you never forget how loved you are.

I can’t wait to connect over in my community group. Thank you for reading!

Is there anything you would add to this list?

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