While this post applies to anytime, I thought it would be helpful to post around Valentine’s Day, since it seems to really put pressure on people. Society really makes a big deal of hitting life events at certain times, and when Valentine’s Day comes around it can be a reminder we haven’t hit those marks if we are single or haven’t had kids, etc, and can make us feel lonely.
Personally, this month is hard for me. I shared on Instagram that it brings traumatic memories with it. I’ve always loved having a reason to celebrate, so even though I have spent most of my Valentine’s Day single, I have enjoyed all the pink and candy. I usually make cards for my friends or bring treats to work. But, the past few years have been different. I don’t really know how to explain it – it’s not that I don’t like the day but I think I’m just trying to get through it and the, honestly, the whole month.
It’s easy to feel lonely and misunderstood, so I share my experiences because, sometimes, knowing that other people are having similar experiences truly does help. Feeling less alone makes it easier to work through, right? I’ve found that sharing my trauma and grief has made them feel lighter and I want that for you, too.
Things to Remember If You Feel Lonely
- You are not alone: We aren’t called to walk alone. If you feel alone, we’re together in that too. We can walk beside each other even if our paths are not the same.
- There is no timeline for life: This timeline that we all feel pressured to meet is made up. Like really, who decided when we are supposed to buy a house or have a family?
- You are enough: I don’t know exactly what you’ve gone through, but I do know, without a doubt, that you’ve done the best you can with the information you had at the time. And that, my friend, is enough. Your best is enough. You’re enough. Period.
- You are worthy just as you are: Your worth is not tied to your marital status, your age, your job title, or the number of followers you have. You are worthy simply because you are a living, breathing human. And you are incredible!
[Related: How to Be Single on Valentine’s Day]
I will never say that your feelings aren’t valid. We will have bad days. We have to work through negative feelings before we can move on from them. It’s part of the emotional process for humans. Having a support system that helps you through it, makes it easier.
We all need a safe place. If you don’t feel you have one in your personal life – look for others to connect with online. Maybe it’s here, reading my blog or my social media posts. Maybe it’s a community group like mine or one by someone else. Or finding a counselor through the online services available. Whatever that looks like for you – I encourage you to find it.
I love you and I’m so proud of you.